Friendtopia

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Compositor: Adam Schlesinger / Dan Gregor / Jack Dolgen / Rachel Bloom

[Rebecca]
When my friends and I stick together
There's nothing we can't do
And when I say that, I specifically mean
We're gonna stage a coup

[Heather]
With the power of our gossip giggles
We'll storm the Pentagon!

[Valencia]
Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas
On the White House lawn

[All]
We're going to braid each other's hair
Then cut each other's braids
Connect the braids to build a rope
To hang all of Congress!

Squad goals!

[Valencia]
Stay together forever!
Squad goals

[Heather]
Take control of the banks!
Squad goals!

[Rebecca]
Don't let a man come between us
If he does, shoot him in the head!

[All]
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
Friendtopia!
A dystopia around our friendship
Friendtopia!
Our manifesto is fun
Zig-a-zow!

[Rebecca]
Now that we have total control
Get ready for what's in store
Our reign will be like
Sweet Valley High meets Nineteen Eighty-Four!

[Valencia]
When one of us gets dumped
That becomes Memorial Day
All agriculture will be diverted
Into making us Rosé

[Heather]
There's a really exclusive sushi place
That never let's us in
So when we don't get in, we say

[All]
Let's just go home and drink rosé!

Roll call!
Rebecca!

[Rebecca]
The brainy one!
Head of censorship and mind control!
Heather!

[Heather]
The cool one!
I put drugs in the water supply!
Valencia!

[Valencia]
The sexy one!
Czar of torture!

[All & Rebecca]
O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
Friendtopia!
We nostalgically watch Hocus Pocus!
Friendtopia!
Aw, I love Hocus Pocus!

Friendtopia!
All citizens much watch Hocus Pocus!
Friendtopia!
Or they will be killed!
Zig-a-zow!